I'm having 2-hours break in the library multi-tasking, finding a journal for one of my project and blogging.





I just want to update what I think and feel now. My family now is having another extra guy which is my brother-in-law, abg wan. Big Sis married to him yesterday. Everything goes nicely and everyone is fatigue now. Me too.

Now, she's married and I got no chance at all to sleep with her when my room air-conditioner having a sucky temperature on that night. Ewwrgh shit! Okay, I left with no one to really pay their fully attention on me. Research shown that if you were to stay with a person in a room for a long period, you will be close to that person. People said it's true but I don't. Cause I'm not close to 2nd sis. I'm close to Big Sis.




Since young, I've been pampered and having attention from Big Sis and Mami but both are not doing those anymore on me. I'm feeeling really down thinking that. Mami no more calling me up to ask where am I, what time coming back home, no more night dating at the coffeeshop when I'm famished, no more accompanying me when I'm doing my late night study, no more shoppings together and all no mores. I know, she is busy and tired with her work. She's getting old and I'm suppose to take care of her now but I don't know why I find myself not independent yet. I really miss the old Mami, honestly.


I'm 19 this year but I don't find myself 19 that is why my family call me the Baby of the family. I like that! They still did call me sometimes though but the treat to me as a Baby is no more. *feeling down* But I still my family!




I find no one is close to me in the blood. Cousins are big now and no hang-outs anymore. No sharing. Sometimes I kept thinking what's the point of us having cousins if we're not close? Sometimes I'm jealous when my friends meet-up with their cousins having some picnics and outings. Where is those thing that we did together, cousins?! Where? I don't mind if you guys say you guys are busy but if you're busy then why you guys are able to meetup with Boyfriends, your other-side cousins, your friends?!


Despite those, I felt lucky. I'm happy to have someone in life now. Thank to God cause he sent me an angel, a happiness. Which is Boyfriend. He became someone who I can cry on, have my happiness, have my fights and else. And Boyfriend also brought me his family who teach me things on our religion, sharing happiness. I got another sister who teach me here and there, who will never fail to help me things and many more.


Actually, all this God doing. Thanks! I love them all.






That is what I feel and thinking of. I'll update Big Sis's wedding photo and video one day. *Giggles*


p.s: I'm feeling happy plus sad.